Every Girl Crys on Her Birthday. . .





A Message to Anyone already or about to be 16



Congrats! Sixteen years old!! This is the age we all wanted to be when we were younger. It's the age where we feel like everything significant will happen. Where, when we're older, we look back and say, "That was one of the best years of my life." There is so much pressure at the age of 16. And I just want to say, between you and me, not to let all the pressure get to you. No, we dont need to have our life together, or be out having fun every night. Just enjoy the freedom. I mean, we're almost adults. . . Isn't that crazy? This is one of the very last years we'll have where we can be naive, be stupid, when we're not quite child, but not quite adult, one of the few years before we leave our parents' house and make something of ourselves in the real world.


I feel like we all expect something to happen on our birthday, especially the significant ones. To wake up that day and feel different. But every year, we are disappointed. And maybe I'm imagining it, but. . . would it be weird (currently writing this on my birthday) to say that I do feel a change? Nothing drastic, just a subtle shift. In how I see the world and myself. I think I'm just more. . . aware.


And while I'm still figuring out exactly what everything means to me, I've also realized I've learned a lot of important lessons. Some were obvious, some I only noticed later, and some I learned through the guidance of others, but together they shaped who I am today. Below, I've compiled a list of some of those life lessons. I've also put a little photo walkthrough of me at every age, from baby to now, just to remind myself just how much I've changed over the years.



(I would also like to apologize in advance for any grammatical or technical errors in this article. I wrote it in about two days and didn't have much time to edit. Thank you and enjoy reading!)



1. It's OK to be Alone, Sometimes



"Being alone has a power that very few people can handle." -Steven Aitchison



There was a time when I was scared of being alone. But I've learned that being alone and being lonely aren't the same thing. Being alone just means you're learning to be with yourself. When I spend time by myself, I see things I didn't notice before. The way I think, what I enjoy, and what makes me feel at peace. Sometimes, the silence is exactly what we need.


You can sit by yourself and still be ok. I can walk alone and still be contempt. If you ever find yourself alone, don't rush to fill the space.





AGE 1. It took a lot of digging, but I found some baby photos! This is my brother, about three at the time, and me. I was a really grumpy baby, so there are barely any photos of me actually smiling.



2. Being "Basic" isn't a Bad Thing



"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson



As cliché as it is to say this, be yourself. It honestly isn't that hard. It's toning out all the people in your ear, trying to categorize you, that complicates things.

It's gotten to the point where teenage girls can't like anything without being judged or looked down on. If you enjoy something other people do, you're "basic". If you have niche interests, you're a "pick me." So what are we even allowed to be? Basic isn't basic it's simple. If you know what you like, embrace that. And if that's Taylor Swift, you be a proud Swiftie! I am a strong believer that things are popular for a reason. If millions of people like something, maybe it's because, I dont know, it's actually good? The same goes for the other way around. Having different interests doesn't make you any more special than a girl who wears Lululemon and loves pumpkin spice lattes.

I dont understand why people can't just like what they like. Being yourself, even if it's "basic", is way more interesting than pretending to be someone else. Because if something makes you happy, why should you give it up?




AGE 2. This photo was taken at one of my first parties.



3. Crying Doesn't Make You Weak



"Crying doesn't make you weak since birth, it has been a sign that you're alive." -Charlotte Brontë



We enter this world crying, but somehow as we grow up, we start to believe it's something to hide. We're being taught to stay strong and smile through. But being strong isn't pretending you're okay when youre not. It's being brave enough to feel everything you're going through, especially when it's messy or uncomfortable.


When you feel like crying, do so. Dont apologize and don't convince yourself you're being dramatic. Especially to all the guys out there. Please stop believing what people say that showing emotion makes you weak. It doesn't. It makes you real.



AGE 3. Couldn't find a picture :(



4. Compliment People as Much as You Can



"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" -Maya Angelou



I don't know about anyone else, but I can remember almost every compliment I ever received from a stranger. They just mean so much. But I've lost count of the number of times I've wanted to compliment someone but was too shy to do so. Isn't it funny how we hold back kindness, like it costs something?


Complements are free. And they quite literally make someone's day. So. . . just say it. Tell a stranger her outfit is cute, or a friend that you're proud of them. Tell your mom that you think she's beautiful (this one especially!) Don't overthink. Just say it.





AGE 4. I remember this day so vividly. My mom and I went to get our hair done, and I ended up hating mine halfway through. With supernatural patience, my stylist started completely over and gave me something I really loved!



5. Later Never Comes



"Stop waiting for the perfect moment that might never arrive. Act today and do it now because life is happening at this moment."



We always think we have more time, don't we? I've learned that waiting for the right moment is just another way of waiting forever. There won't ever be a perfect day, a perfect mood, or a perfect plan. You might say, "Maybe when I get more friends?" or "Maybe if I get better?" If you want to start something, start now. Like right now. Starting is the first step.


If you keep waiting, one day you'll look back and realize that "later" quietly turned into "never."





AGE 5. Me in my favorite pair of pajamas. I wore it up until I was like 12 and couldn't squeeze into them anymore.



6. If You Love Them, Tell Them



"Love recognizes no barriers."



Honestly, one of my biggest regrets is not telling the people I love most in life how I feel, specifically my family. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I don't even know how to say the words to them anymore. I think it's because we assume they already know.

So my advice is simple: do the opposite. If you really do love someone, tell them. Overuse "I love you." Say it when you hang up the phone or leave the house. Say it whenever you feel it and then some more. You never know how much someone may need to hear it that day.
But dont just say it, show it. Like, listen to them when they talk to you or be patient when they're being difficult. Love isn't just about words it's also the effort behind them.
People dont stay forever. And when they're gone, you'll regret not telling them how you feel.




AGE 6. One of my first "big girl" play dates! We went to the park with my little brother and friend.



7. Let Your Work Speak for Itself



"Underestimating me only makes me stronger you just gave me another reason to succeed."



I wouldn't exactly call myself shy, but I've never been one to promote myself or crave attention. I'm not loud about my accomplishments, and I'm completely fine with that. The only issue with being like this is that it leads to people underestimating you. So, I let my work speak. I've learned that quiet confidence lasts longer than trying to prove yourself to people, and then there's something sooo satisfying about proving people wrong. So dont worry if people overlook you at first. Stay quiet, stay consistent, and stay authentic.





AGE 7. Big smiles! Picture of me and my family celebrating our country! (I don't even think it was July 4th LOL)



8. Learn to Cook a Signature Dish



While this may seem kind of random, it's one of the most important on this list. I can whip up really tasty fried rice with only a few ingredients. I personally think everyone should have that one dish they know how to make by heart. Plus, food connects people. Cooking for someone else is a very good way to show love.





AGE 8. First day of 2nd grade. I don't think I was actually 8 yet, but my birthday was fast approaching!



9. Never Be Afraid to Talk to People



"Don't be afraid to speak up and let your voice be heard. Your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings... they all matter." -Lang Leav



Confidence is key. I used to think some people were just "out of my league," but that is so false because we're literally all just human. Best looking person in the room? Ok? They're still a person. They get nervous, overthink, and feel out of place sometimes, too. No one’s untouchable. And the funniest part is that while we're thinking this, someone else may look at you and be intimidated to talk to you!

Half of what makes someone magnetic isn’t their looks it’s their confidence. The people who walk into a room like they belong there are the ones everyone notices. So why not be that person yourself?

If you're anything like me, you may not be the best conversationalist. But that's okay. We can keep working on this and get better at talking to strangers.




AGE 9. This is me posing in front of the mirror with my *mom's* phone and a trendy outfit. Wasn't I just the coolest kid in the 3rd grade?



10. Make an Effort to Learn and Remember People's Names



"A person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." -Dale Carnegie



It's such a small thing, but it makes a huge difference. It makes people feel noticed and valued. As a quote earlier said, people remember how you make them feel. And remembering someone's name, especially when they're not expecting you to, leaves an amazing impression.


As a person with a complicated African name (Moyinoluwa E. Agbaosi, let's not even start with my middle name), I love it when people actually try to learn how to say it instead of just butchering it.


And if you forget someone's name, please, oh PLEASE, dont make it awkward. Just ask and move on. No weird comments (speaking from personal expirience.)





AGE 10. The first of many crazy hair photos. . .



11. Smile at Strangers



"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness." -William Arthur Ward



We spend so much time looking down at our phones, trying not to make eye contact, and pretending we dont notice each other. But what if we didn't? Smiling at someone can make someone's day. You never know what other people are going through at the time, so always offer people a little kindness.





AGE 11. This was when I got my big haircut. Thankfully, all my hair has grown back now.



Remember the 2/3 Rule



"I do put on a little makeup every day because it helps me feel put together. Mascara is essential." -Emma Stone



Have two of the three done: Your hair, your makeup, or your outfit.


This rule has saved me countless times. Bad hair day? Makeup and outfits. No time for makeup? Outfit and hair. Just threw on sweatpants? Hair and Makeup. It's all about the balance! Obviously, I dont follow this all the time, especially when I'm tired, but this is an easy way for you to look put together when leaving your house.





AGE 12. I think this is my 12th birthday party. I spent it at home with family, eating cake and lots of food.



13. Saying "Kill All Men" Doesn't Make You a Feminist...



It's makes you immature. Hope this helps!





AGE 13. I saved someone from drowning at this party!



14. Take Pictures, Even When You Don't Feel Pretty



As you can see, I'm not looking my best in a lot of these pictures. But I look at them now and don't even acknowledge that. I look at all the photos and just notice how much I've changed and grown as a person, and remember who I was at every season in my life.


Photography is also a way to celebrate yourself. Just document your life exactly how it is. Smile, pose, take 10 selfies, it doesn't really matter. One day, you'll look back and be grateful that you captured these moments, even if you didn't feel like you looked your best at the time.





AGE 14. Wait, how did I literally have perfect skin back then???



15. Have Slow Mornings



"It always pays to dwell slowly on the beautiful things—the more beautiful the more slowly." - Atticus



Not every morning needs to be a rush. I like to wake up a bit earlier to make my bed, open my windows, drink a warm drink, and shower. The way you begin your mornings sets the whole tone for the day, so make sure it's good.





AGE 15. Just taking pics loll.



16. God's Plan is Better than Mine



"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11



I acknowledge that everyone may not believe in god, but as a Christian, I just had to put this here because it's the most important to me on this list.


I like having a plan. I meticulously write out my days down to the very minute, and panic when things don't go my way. Being a control freak has taught me one of the hardest lessons: sometimes, I need to let go. I've learned that no matter how much I plan or dream, things don't always go the way I want. Every time things don't work out, it's usually because God has something better for me in store. Trusting this has brought me so much peace, even when I don't understand his timing.





AGE (about to turn) 16! Most recent picture of me at my Homecoming <3



⋆⭒˚。⋆a little poem I found that I thought was fitting⋆⭒˚。⋆



happy birthday to the girl

to the girl, who is adorned

in the armour of strength

and veiled in the grace

of dignity.

her laughter is a melody

that defies the weight of tomorrow

fearless and unshaken

by the whispers

of what lies ahead.

she carries the sun's tender kiss upon her skin

a gentle glow

that mirrors, the warmth of her soul

her presence, is like the golden light of summer

where time starts to slow

and the heart blooms

in quite, unspoken bliss


-elise everhart



happy birthday guys <3